My birth story 1, 2018.

My birth story 2015.

I had two contrasting births. And although I’m not proud of my ignorance during my first labour, I am proud of how far I have come and how much I advocated for myself with the little knowledge I had back in 2015.

I thought I would share my story with you all because sometimes our own journey as a doula is what can be most beneficial to you. My two different experiences is how I can truly understand your experiences - whatever path you chose.

I’m going to keep it brief because it was almost 24 hours in labour and 8 years ago.

On the night of the 23rd of February I had a tear in my water, you know that feeling like you’ve wet yourself but you know you didn’t?
I went back to sleep hoping I’d be woken by contractions. It didn’t happen. 
I woke up the next morning and it wasn’t until that afternoon I started getting tightenings. We went for a walk. They got stronger and closer together. We made dinner. We never ate it, and it sat in the oven for almost 4 days… 
My contractions got so strong and close together we raced to the hospital (private hospital in Spain).

I wasn’t dilated much. Maybe 2cm.
They told me to go home but my contractions were so strong and close labour felt near, so we never left.
My baby was posterior. Unlucky for me the older Spanish midwife told me I would need a cesarean because I wouldn’t be able to handle the pain. Watch me, I thought to myself. My mum arrived at the hospital.
They wouldn’t let me eat, they made me take out all my jewellery because caesarean was near (damn I wish we ate the dinner still sitting in the oven). My mum fed me grape juice through a straw to keep my sugars ups. 

Then came the threats, they coerced me to have syntocinon. They told me I had to have an epidural with it. I refused. She said 'impossible'. I still refused.

12 hours later. The midwives changed shift (thank f***).
A younger midwife arrived with a birth ball to help me try and turn baby (which I was told would be also be impossible). I hummed, deep at the back of my throat, to open and release. He was not coming down. I was filled with fear.
The clock was ticking - 24 hours was all they would allow me before caesarean (I told them what time my water broke). I was panicked, I didn’t want a caesarean. 

Coming up to 19 hours, they gave me a walking epidural (my only chance to birth vaginally). 

My body started to relax, my mind slowed. I became 8cm. He was finally coming down. He was no longer posterior (he turned). 

On 23 hours, by son was pulled out - mid contraction.